For about two weeks now I've been trying to wean John off of swaddling. Why you ask? Because it didn't seam like he needed it anymore and I hate making sure I have a swaddling blanket with me when we go out. And maybe becaue we just put away all the pacifiers since he found his thumb... so clearly he can self soothe.
I started when I realized that John clearly knew it was nap time. I would take him to our bedroom and lay him on the swaddling blanket. He would then start to cry/scream in protest before I even began to swaddle him. I wasn't doing anything different to him... in fact, I did 5 times a day... everyday of his life! So I knew he knew that was my signal for napping/sleeping.
When he first began to protest I was confused and would think that he wanted to play long. Well, that was wrong... because he would be fussy mess if I tired to get him back up to play.
If I just let him protest it out (formally known as cry it out) he would only cry for 1-2 minutes... then fall asleep for the 2 hour nap.
I began to leave one arm out of the swaddle about two weeks ago because he was protesting anyway and I wanted to start weaning off of swaddling. Same drill... a little protesting and then off to dream land. My Mom actually witnessed this while watching John for us (while Steven and I were on a date) this weekend. Both my Mom and Steven have tried laying next to him to comfort him in hopes that he wouldn't protest. But, he still does... the only benefit is that you get to see him do his cute little acceptance huff before he falls asleep.
After our trip (I don't know why but I'm usually more "inspired" to move to the next level after a trip) I tired to not swaddle John for night time. I was terrified to try it because I was afraid that he wouldn't sleep through the night and it brought back bad memories of the first couple of weeks of John's life... I love my child... but, I strongly dislike not sleeping at night.
Well, I made sure John was well fed that day (one of the reasons John wasn't sleeping at first was because he was hungry because I had an almost non-existent milk supply) and put him in a night gown (we didn't really use pajama's because the swaddling blanket kept him warm enough for August in Texas) and put him to bed. ... ... ... He did great! No crying. And he slept from 9pm to 7:30am-ish just like normal.
So I tired for the next nap time to just put him in his bed like I had done that night.
Well, napping is a little different. He fell asleep for about 30 minutes... then he woke up and cried.... and cried... and cried. I couldn't take it and got him up early. I tried again for another nap cycle and the same thing happened.
Why did not-swaddling work for night time but not work for napping? He could clearly fall asleep if one arm was out during his naps, why not both?
I decided to just wrap the blanket around his tummy to see if maybe he just wanted to feel snug. I kept the no swaddle routine in place for night time, but for naps I wrapped his tummy only... both arms out.
Well, we are back to no crying to fall asleep (which is a relief) but now I'm puzzled. Essentially it is the same to not be swaddled at all and to have only your tummy swaddled. It's like he needs a signal, "Hey buddy, I love you very much, and it's time for you to rest so you will have energy to play again in a couple of hours. This is your signal to take a nap. I will be back in a while."
He also has begun to not take good naps at other people's houses.... which is a HUGE bummer. I do venture out one-two times a week to visit friends. But it's like he can tell that the room is different. He is getting smarter!
I don't know... do you have to give your baby a "signal" to go to sleep? Or does your little one just get it when you leave them alone for a while? What are other signals besides a hot blanket wrapped around your baby's tummy?
We wind down with soothing talk during our routine of getting a fresh diaper, going over and pointing to his bed, reading a book, and having a little nursing session. When Isaac is done having his snack, he often (but not always) will point to his bed. I put him in bed on his back, pat/rub his chest, and wave goodbye as I leave (making sure to look really sleepy and half lidded and face him as I exit - he gets worried he might be missing something if I look to perky, and thinks I might really be leaving if I turn around!). Bed time is exactly the same, but it starts with a bath.
ReplyDeleteMany times he stands back up and watches me leave, but usually won't protest. If he cries/whines for 45 seconds or so, I go in, pick him up, and hold/rock him for a couple of more minutes before putting him back in bed. He really just seems to need to be reassured that I WILL come if he needs me, so once he is sure of that, he's ok.
At John's age, however, he wanted to be slept with, which was ok with me, as I like naps, too. :) I think all babies just get used to whatever signals/routine you give them; it just takes time.
You're an awesome Mommy, Fallon. :) In my limited experience, every time you think you have your baby figured out, he goes and changes things up on you! Rapid development and all, I guess. :)
I KNOW!!! That is exactly the problem... as soon as I get things figured out he changes things up. Oh well.
ReplyDeleteAt this age, Lucy isn't on a schedule so we don't really give her any signals, she gives them to us. Whenever she starts to look sleepy (rubs eyes, yawns, looks away from the "fun" - it's "normally" every 1-1.5 hrs but sometimes much shorter and in the evenings longer) I switch from happy loud fun mommy mode to quiet cuddly soft speaking mommy mode and sometimes I'll turn off some lights and then we try and work her to sleep.
ReplyDeleteShe won't fall asleep on her own, but I can nurse her, rock her, wear her in a sling or lay down next to her to get her down. Once she is asleep I have to wait till she is really down, about 15-20 minutes, then I can sometimes put her down without a problem but often I'll just hold her the whole time - or nap with her. If I put her down, I just keep her nearby wherever I am - her seat in the kitchen, floor in the living room, etc. I normally do whatever works with what I want to be doing the next hour or so - i.e., if I want to take a nap, I'll lay down next to her, if I want to read or surf the internet, we will nurse on the couch and I'll hold her, if I want to do chores then I'll wear her, etc. I deliberately choose not to always put her to sleep in her co-sleeper since I want her to be able to sleep anywhere, and so far it works, she naps fine when we are out and about, sometimes even better than at home, especially if I am wearing her. It's not always convenient (but if I wanted a convenient life, I wouldn't have had a baby,right :-) and while there are times when I wish I could just put her down and have a couple hours to myself but if I am honest with myself, I wouldn't really want that. That is one of my favorite times with her, she is calm and likes to look at my face and smile as her little eyelids begin to droop and she just drift off, often holding onto my hand or arm. She just needs to know I'm there and it's nice to be needed.
She naps for about 45 minutes, except the one time a day I lay down with her and nap too, that normally last 1-2 hrs. I used to worry about naps a lot, either they weren't long enough or she was restless but I've let that go and today at my mommy group there were about 20 women and we were all talking about naps and most of them were in the same boat - they have to "parent" their babies to sleep and still most only take 1hr or less naps until they got older. Even Dr. Sears http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070200.asp talks about how it really isn't developmentally normal for most babies that age to be able to put themselves to sleep so it's great if John can do that but I wouldn't necessarily think you need to do something different if he can't.
Oh, and nighttime is different for us. I still do the same routine but once she is down, she stays down real well for the several hours until I go to bed.
At this age, Lucy isn't on a schedule so we don't really give her any signals, she gives them to us. Whenever she starts to look sleepy (rubs eyes, yawns, looks away from the "fun" - it's "normally" every 1-1.5 hrs but sometimes much shorter and in the evenings longer) I switch from happy loud fun mommy mode to quiet cuddly soft speaking mommy mode and sometimes I'll turn off some lights and then we try and work her to sleep.
ReplyDeleteShe won't fall asleep on her own, but I can nurse her, rock her, wear her in a sling or lay down next to her to get her down. Once she is asleep I have to wait till she is really down, about 15-20 minutes, then I can sometimes put her down without a problem but often I'll just hold her the whole time - or nap with her. If I put her down, I just keep her nearby wherever I am - her seat in the kitchen, floor in the living room, etc. I normally do whatever works with what I want to be doing the next hour or so - i.e., if I want to take a nap, I'll lay down next to her, if I want to read or surf the internet, we will nurse on the couch and I'll hold her, if I want to do chores then I'll wear her, etc. I deliberately choose not to always put her to sleep in her co-sleeper since I want her to be able to sleep anywhere, and so far it works, she naps fine when we are out and about, sometimes even better than at home, especially if I am wearing her. It's not always convenient (but if I wanted a convenient life, I wouldn't have had a baby,right :-) and while there are times when I wish I could just put her down and have a couple hours to myself but if I am honest with myself, I wouldn't really want that. That is one of my favorite times with her, she is calm and likes to look at my face and smile as her little eyelids begin to droop and she just drift off, often holding onto my hand or arm. She just needs to know I'm there and it's nice to be needed.
She naps for about 45 minutes, except the one time a day I lay down with her and nap too, that normally last 1-2 hrs. I used to worry about naps a lot, either they weren't long enough or she was restless but I've let that go and today at my mommy group there were about 20 women and we were all talking about naps and most of them were in the same boat - they have to "parent" their babies to sleep and still most only take 1hr or less naps until they got older. Even Dr. Sears http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070200.asp talks about how it really isn't developmentally normal for most babies that age to be able to put themselves to sleep so it's great if John can do that but I wouldn't necessarily think you need to do something different if he can't.
I hope this has to do with what you are asking...I didn't really read the other comments but hopefully this makes sense.
ReplyDeleteI believe consistency is key to whatever you decide. I have learned over the last several months [and read it as well] that it takes a few days of consistency in a certain area for the baby to "get it." I have really found that to be true. It just takes some time for the connection to be made and the sooner [younger] you do it the better. We decided what time was reasonable for Maddie to take a nap and go to bed for the night, made a routine in getting ready for bed and 98% of the time [with some exception of off days] we stick to it and it's worked like a charm. Every child is different and you'll have to find what works for you but again, it's consistency that creates the discipline and routine for them, then life gets a little easier. :o)