Nursing

Our nursing story was less than ideal… in fact, it was a disaster! However, I’m going to go through the details so that I will remember it with the next one. I figured posting it here is a good idea because I also plan on posting about John’s tongue soon and it will be a good back ground for everyone.

I was so heartbroken that we weren’t able to nurse! I thought that I would have a baby and nurse him… case closed… no biggie… after all I had seen tons of women do this, so why would it be a problem for me? I had a rude realization awaiting me.

The problem we had was a supply. I would nurse John for 40 minutes to an hour and then expect him to go to sleep at least for 45 minutes or so. John never did that. After nursing he would sleep for maybe 15 minutes and then cry again or start rooting around on whoever was holding him. I was so confused. Even more confused when he wasn’t gaining weight and they told me to nurse more frequently. More frequently? Really? I mean, do you want him to become part of my body again? And when am I suppose to sleep… or eat… or use the restroom?

When we were trying to make it work I was taking herbs (fenugreek & blessed thistle) and a prescription but neither increased my supply. I’m often asked how I know if my supply increase. The major reason was because John was never satisfied after nursing… the other reason was that I was pumping in between nursing to try and increase my supply, but I was hardly making any milk. We measured it over a 24 hour period and I made 6 oz… hardly enough to sustain a boy that could easily knock out 20 oz of formula in one day.

I had issues with doing both the formula and nursing thing because the formula would keep him so full that he didn’t want to nurse and nursing wasn’t nourishing him so we had to use formula. It’s a crazy cycle that drove me NUTS… and I was already going crazy because I wasn’t sleeping. What usually happened was that I pumped in between feedings to empty everything and keep my production up during the day. The idea of pumping every hour drove me crazy and was not a long term solution.

Looking back I definitely could have made changes to make things easier. Next time around my top priority is to figure out how to nurse and sleep. A good night sleep does wonders for my attitude and mental state. Second, I plan to not freak out and worry about my supply so much. That sounds like something quite easy… but for a seriously sleep deprived new mother, it’s asking a lot! I was really terrified when doctors started telling me to supplement. Not because I think formula is bad for my baby or that I didn’t want him to have “those crazy chemicals” but because it wasn’t what I planned. The major lesson I learned was too just be a lot more flexible. Formula is not going to kill your baby, in fact, it may be needed and it doesn’t make you a “bad” mother.

From various conversations I’ve had I think I can confidently blame up my low milk supply to PCOS. I’ve had issues (whether identified or unidentified) since I was a teen. The lactation consultant I talked to said it was due to lack of glandular tissue, which develops in those early teen years. I’m pretty confident that it was that (or maybe this tongue thing I’m going to post later) because I did everything that the doctor, lactation consultant and LLL leader suggested and my supply didn’t increase. It definitely wasn’t that we weren’t trying.

I am very sad that I wasn’t able to nurse, but I much more open to supplementing long term the next time around. Formula is expensive! And my kid has quite an appetite. Even if I can only produce 6 oz a day that is 6 oz less I will have to buy. When we were making the decision on what to do about John’s eating situation we weren’t concerned about money, we just wanted our kid to eat and gain weight at a normal rate. I guess that is why they say “you live, you learn!”