From struggle to triumph!

Every new Mom has an adjustment period. I was expecting about 6 weeks until John and I got the hang of things. It took us a little longer, but now we have a good rhythm.

The struggle with nursing was draining and flood of new information was overwhelming. I naively thought I knew what to expect because I have a decent amount of experience with kids… kids… not newborns.

The biggest thing for me was the lack of sleep. I heard you get less sleep, and I believed it… but I’m convinced that nothing can really prepare you for the challenges that come with lack of sleep. You just have to get in there and do it… and pray you are adaptable.

I hate this, but I have a hard time adapting. I can do it when forced… but it’s usually not my most graceful moments. I want definite answers and I want to know EXACTLY how things are going to go to be… I’m an engineer at heart.

I like knowing what to expect and thankfully, God gave me a child that does too. Around week five, I decided to see how John would do on a “schedule.” This was greatly looked down upon on in a few books I read… but luckily with books (except the Bible) you can pick and choose.

Turns out John does great with a regular routine! I was so thrilled. I started feeding him every three hours in the day and when he wanted it at night. The theory was that he would learn that night time was for sleeping and day time was for eating… and playing.

At about 6.5 weeks he started sleeping 8 hours at night. Ahhhh… slowly my sanity came back! I thought it was totally normal for babies to sleep through the night at that age, so initially I wasn’t too impressed… my attitude was more like, “it’s about time, kiddo!” I’ve since learned that most babies start sleeping through the night around 3 months.

I functioned at lot better on 8 hours of sleep but John didn’t like to be put down for nap during the day. That was a bummer because I needed to get some simple things like feeding myself, laundry, dinner and dishes done each day. The baby swing helped out a lot, but if he didn’t have it or close contact with a human he would go crazy.

I did notice that John had a little routine… eat, play, get fussy, sleep. Usually I took the “get fussy” part as a cue to help him get settled. I used my Moby wrap or the baby swing with swaddling to help him fall asleep. I experimented with putting him in his crib for nap time, but he hated it… he cried like he was going to die so I didn’t push it.

For the fourth of July we headed off to Oklahoma. I decided to practice being “adaptable.” I didn’t have household responsibilities to worry about so I could hold him if he wanted to sleep. We would work on nap time after vacation.

During our trip John started showing signs of giving up his 6th feeding every day. He would push away the bottle and cry if I tried to put it in his mouth. So one night (I was feeling exceptionally rested with all the cousins offering to help with John) I decided to see how long he would sleep. He slept for 9 hours.

When we got home he eventually gave up the feeding and now sleeps 11 hours at night. His last feeding is at 8pm and he is in bed by 9pm. Then he sleeps till 8am… sometimes he wakes up when he gets out of his swaddle… I re-swaddle him and he is off to dream land. This morning I actually had to wake him up to feed him. I can’t believe my 2 month old is sleeping through the night so well!

At his two month check up I asked my doctor about the “cry it out” theory because I wanted to be able to put John down for a nap during the day. Our doctor said it was fine because his weight gain was in the normal range. I wasn’t looking forward to it, but I was going to give it a try.

So I fed John… then we played… then he got fussy. I swaddled him, placed him in his crib, kissed his forehead and walked out of the room. I started to do something (I don’t remember what) but I realized later, “He’s not crying? What’s wrong with him?”

I did the same thing the rest of the day and he didn’t cry! I was so proud of him… such a good baby. The next day he did cry a little, but with some comforting he got back into the swing of things. We’ve been on the same routine/schedule for about a week now and he still does great!

All this to say that we have come such a long way! In the beginning I had a hard time bonding with John. I loved him in the hospital, but with all the trials we faced at home it really put a damper on our relationship. I felt so bad because it wasn’t his fault… it was my hormones and inability to adapt.

Now during our play time (which used to be me talking to an unresponsive baby) he loves to look at me and smile. Steven got a little jealous at first because it seemed like John only smiled at me… he has since warmed up to Dad and other faces, but I can always get a good smile out him. It’s so good for my heart.

Faces keep his attention the longest. He will do well on a blanket next to the sliding glass doors or looking at the decorative cross on the wall, but he doesn’t stop kicking his feet unless there is a face to gaze at. When he spot someone his whole body will slow down and he just studies… then he will smile and kinda giggle and open his mouth really big. It’s so fun.

I’ve also been giving him more tummy time. It’s funny because tummy time is for working on lifting his head; instead he searches for his hands and tries to get that thumb in his mouth. He is getting quite good at it because I have caught him with it in his mouth when he is on his back. We call him our “little sucker” because he has a strong desire to suck.

A highlight of my day is waking him up from a nap. I know some say never wake a sleeping baby, but I like to stay on schedule and John does well with it so I’m not worried. I’ve had a break from baby duties and I’m usually missing him by the time the next feeding rolls around. I pick him up and he stretches and wiggles and makes the best faces. He’s so warm and snuggly... I just hold him to my face and kiss him all over!

I do put him in my wrap still if he needs it during church or if we are out and he is being particularly fussy. I love it when he looks up at me as he is falling asleep. It’s like he is saying, “Thanks Mom.”

I love him… and I’m glad he’s here!